How life goes: yesterday my daughter had a fabulous idea for a Teen-Style Tuesday post and this afternoon we were going to shoot it. Instead, my other daughter got released from work early (she’s a nanny and the kids’ dad got some time off), so the two ladies went thrifting. I could have gone, but I had to wash my hair. Okay, that was probably over-share.
While aimlessly floating around the blogosphere, looking for inspiration for a teen-oriented post that does not require a model, I encounter The Oracle of Starbucks, via Fabulously Broke in the City. What a cute concept! Too bad it’s so poorly done.
(Disclaimer: while I do believe that our choices reveal something about what’s going on inside, I would never advise seeking supernatural wisdom apart from God. That would be foolish. This is just for fun.)
What the oracle said about me:
Personality type: Clueless
You don’t go to Starbucks much; when you do you just tag along with other people since you have nothing better to do. You would like to order a Tazo Chai Crème but don’t know how to pronounce it. Most people who drink short double split shot mocha breve are strippers.
Also drinks: Wine coolers
Can also be found at: The mall
Now, since ordering a latte is an important skill for a teen to master, at least here in The Great Northwest, I will walk you through my order and the reasoning behind it, proving that I indeed have a clue.
Short: a short is an 8 ounce cup. If you choose to order a short, you may have to explain that to the person behind the counter. Many coffee houses start their sizes at 10 or 12 ounces.
Always give the size of the beverage first!
Double: two shots of espresso. When ordering a hot drink, I always order one shot for every 4 ounces, for iced I add an extra 4 ounces. Most people consider this pretty intense.
Split-shot: half regular, half de-caf. Depending on how much caffeine I have already had, and whether I want to be bothered adding extra syllables to my order, I may leave this out.
Mocha: The simple reason I order mocha? It’s way too easy to get a flavored latte too sweet. Chocolate syrup is less sugary.
Breve: simply means use half & half instead of milk. Yum!
One thing the oracle said was true: I don’t go to Starbucks much. For the money, there are lots of places around here to get superior coffee.
What’s your order? Don’t worry, I won’t use it against you.
At Starbucks — where I used to go every morning when I worked in an office — I would order a venti soy latte with sugarfree vanilla syrup… no whip ;D
My order — Venti 1/2 caf No foam latte iced with 1/2 the ice (for these blazing summer months but I hate paying for basically a big glass of ice cause I could get that for free…LOL…otherwise just good ole hot)
My husband’s — Venti 5 shot Americano — my husband taught this one to each of our new Starbucks as they have opened (we now have 6 with the 7th being built and it’s all within a 20 to 30 minute radius of each other as we live in a small town) and the Hardback Cafe at the bookstore (not a Starbucks but they are just as good except with specialty orders like gingerbread latte’s and such). A normal venti only has 4 shots and that’s just not enough to wire my husband…LOL..
All I can say is YUCK! I hate coffee of any sort. Starbucks does have great hot coco though.
Large ho tcoco with whipped creme please.
*laugh*
I think we should band together and do a Fashion Starbucks Oracle…
Me, I am a Venti Soy Tazo Chai (no water, no foam)….
Soy because of lactose-intolerancy
Venti because I love the taste of Tazo Chai
No water, so it’s sweeter
No foam because it tastes awful when made with soy milk
I also don’t go to SB much, because there is generally better coffee to be found nearby. Stumptown is hands down the best coffee in PDX.
I am out of coffee at home this morning, so I will be stopping at a local place near my office. My order:
16oz
triple shot
decaf
Americano
room for cream
On the odd times that I go in the afternoon, I make it a 12oz double shot, but always decaf.
LOL, MamaArcher, you are right, Starbucks DOES have good hot cocoa!
Beth, obviously you and I are related. You are the only one besides me who didn’t order a Venti!
BTW, I like the foam, especially at the places that have the artists who make pretty designs in the foam on top of your beverage. Definitely makes it worth ordering in a mug!
Starbucks is not big in Australia. You’re local cafe ususally does better coffee, where I usually order a small skinny decaf latte (in the Australian vernacular).
Gimme a Tall Bold Coffee with no room. And if I’m having a day- a Grande Bold Coffee with no room.
I love it. They almost seem shocked when someone just wants a really dark strong cup of coffee.
And I liked black coffee even before I went on South Beach!
What does that say about me? huh? huh?
blest, I confess I’ve never heard anyone order a bold. I can totally imagine the shock!
We used to play games with a couple who owned espresso businesses. To hear the guy talk about what some of the people ordered … alot of people might as well just buy themselves a big gulp sized flavored milk!
You’re BOLD! lol