As you can imagine, I get in alot of conversations gray hair.
Recently a loved one emailed me on that very topic. She is tired of the hassle of getting her hair colored. She’s determined to simplify. I think it is a brilliant idea; after all, to avoid the “skunk” look requires a costly and time-consuming visit to the salon every four weeks. And “skunk” is not any woman’s best look.
Since I put some effort into crafting my response, I wanted to share some of it:
I think there is growing acceptance of gray hair. Your reasons make so much sense! The biggest risk, IMO, is losing your feminine look; therefore, [getting a buzz cut] is probably not your best choice.
As to what increases in importance: yes, earrings; maybe makeup. The real biggie, IMO, is CUT. You are a powerful presence and could be downright intimidating without a pretty feminine hairstyle. Color in your clothing and accessories can contribute energy and creativity to your look (see quotation below).
For Christmas I got the 2001 book Put Your Best Foot Forward: Make a Great Impression by Taking Control of How Others See You
, by Jo-Ellan Dimitrius and Mark Mazzarella. You can read much of what they say about hair on googlebooks.
From the book:
“Women, however, don’t fare so well when they turn gray. Studies show that they are considered older, tired, less creative, and less capable. Unlike men, there are no corresponding positive associations when women’s hair turns gray. Women with striking white or silver hair in short, chic hairstyles avoid the negative associations that generally apply to women who have grayed. But for those whose hair has turned gray or salt and pepper, hair coloring will significantly improve their image, particularly in the professional arena.”Also:
“Studies have shown that women, particularly older women, are perceived as more credible, friendly and competent when they wear their hair shoulder length or shorter, and in relatively simple styles and cuts. Particularly short, chic, styled hair can look very professional, and scores well in the capability category as well, although it appears more harsh and unfriendly.”
To dye or not to dye? Share your thoughts here. 🙂
This is really interesting, especially because I´ll probably grey pretty early (thanks for the genes, mom). I would like to rock white hair one day, but not at age 35.
I saw a pic of a lady that had silvery grey hair with golden highlights (or is it lowlights ?). It looked beautiful, and I think there is less maintenance with highlights than with dyeing the entire thing.
I think it depends hugely on a person’s idiom, too. For example, at the grocery today, I saw a lady with long, graying hair pulled back in a pony. Normally, that description doesn’t sound too stylish, does it? But she was wearing a uniform for work and she actually looked friendly and cute!
Ha! Someday I will understand all this!
I think there is a another concern. Men associate grey, consciously or not, with their mothers, grandmothers and other “older” women. As a generalization, they are not attracted. Now, this might not matter to a woman and I am not saying it’s the #1 criterion. (I have also heard men say they find their partners beautiful with grey hair, but those men seem still in the minority.)
I colour my hair. It’s expensive, but I’d look drab grey. Not every woman (including me) is going to look like Emmylou Harris with grey hair.
Agree cut is very important, but if hair is thin, colour plumps the cuticle and makes hair look more abundant.
I’ve never really thought about men associating grey with their mothers, maybe because my dad’s mom never greyed. It makes perfect sense, though. Also, in my own family and close associates, it is more frequently the case that the men are the ones who prefer the women to remain grey. But, obviously, that could be the exception rather than the rule.
But when I try to think through the implications of that in terms of business women … it gets messy. Because attractiveness is not all there is to it. It seems like grey hair should not be a deterrent to a man viewing a woman as a competent professional, but I suppose it depends on how well his mom fit the Leave it to Beaver mold.
Coloring does indeed make hair more manageable! One thing I don’t like about the current texture is that I can’t really do anything with it. The last time I tried to use a curling iron, it just turned to fuzz! lol
85-90% of the women I meet in the corporate sector do not go grey. Of those who do, the majority are in the academic and public service sectors.It’s rare to see grey on our equivalent of Wall St., Bay St. That is because for both sexes, maintaining an image that, if not youthful, is not “senior” is important. I don’t think it’s about sexual allure, more about looking “in the game”.