Some thoughts on raising modest girls (I’m blessed to have two!):
- Exercise your parental authority. See this previous post.
- There’s no better text for giving them the tools to be “artistically” beautiful than that book I push.
- Get rid of your TV.
- Don’t buy foo-foo shoes. What kindergartener needs platform sandals?
I wish I knew WHY that last one works. Thoughts?
One of the best things my church/family did for me was to teach me to be modest. When I went into the working world I didn’t have to worry about whether something was appropriate or not & i’m not constantly tugging on my clothes trying to make something too small fit.
Oooh–you’re really being challenging here. You know, I think you may be right about the shoes!! Never thought about it, but it sort of sets the stage for being a trendsetter (or follower, as the case may be). And we do have a TV, and eight year old dd does watch it, but I have always monitored what she watches, and I think that may have something to do with her ability to be a 3rd grade girl–not teen wannabe. Thanks for the reminders. I will stay diligent.
I would add that reading lots of good old fashioned books (like Anne of Green Gables) helps. My oldest (almost nine and homeschooled) and a friend of hers (just turned 10 and pulic schooled) both love old fashioned dresses and wear them constantly. The main thing they have in common (other than being taught about modesty and about Christ) is a love for historical fiction and fairytales.
Platform sandals for a child in kindergarten? Not only is that too ‘grownup,’ it seems downright dangerous. How can a little kid play in stupid shoes?
I am totally, totally against getting rid of TV. I am, of course, for regulating what little kids see. But to cut it off completely? No way. Sure, even the best shows sometimes have things you don’t agree with. But what a great opportunity for education! When something would come on that I did not approve of…instead of snapping off the TV in a huff, I’d discuss why I disapproved. (Except really ‘adult’ stuff. That’s what the remote is for. I mean…even commercials get carried away!) For example, if a kid was being disrespectful to an adult (I can’t understand why this is supposed to be comical), I’d point out and say, “wow, look at the sn*tty way that kid is treating his mom. I’m sure glad you kids aren’t like that!” Or if there was a story about a kidnapping, I’d point out that the kidnapper looked like a nice man and discuss how strangers don’t have to look mean and scary. Of course, I’m not talking about little kids. I’m talking kids who are old enough to understand me. For the record, 3 are now terrific adults and the youngest is a 16-year-old who never gave me a bit of trouble.
Excellent ideas and it ties in nicely with her modesty one ;). Happy Wednesday – our tip is up as well!
Hello! Sent over from Shannon’s page.
I have to say, your last one cracked me up. I have a 7 month old and people keep feeling the need to buy her these elaborate shoes.
Too bad they don’t know she goes barefoot all summer and lives in her Robeez all winter.
No platforms for us! 🙂
I’m keeping these ideas in mind if we ever are blessed with a daughter. Thanks for sharing.
I’ve posted a WFMW baptism gift tip. Stop by and take a peek. 🙂
Heather, I totally agree (and so do my daughters).
Mom2fur, we agree on alot and, if we were going to have a TV, I would probably do it just like you. Sorry to say that we actually use the real people in our acquaintance for the kinds of education you are talking about!
Thanks for participating!
I love my tv, but I love it the way I love wine – once in a while and in moderation. The same rules apply to my kids (about tv. They can keep their grubby hands off that other stuff), but yes, it’s hard not to backslide with television.
As far as goofy shoes – my infant daughter was given clear plastic platform sandals with “FLIRTY GIRL” written in bright red text on the sides. She was one. (and no, she never wore them!)
Pingback: The Space Between My Peers » WFMW: The Great Parenting Advice Edition
We raised our two sons without TV, not out of any wish for modesty or even for control of sexually-oriented or violent material. We did it because, as communications professionals, we had seen too many good studies on what TV does to pre-literate children. It does not make children smarter.
We had a number of other reasons, such as how families are portrayed in nearly all sitcoms, We did not try to ban or control TV when they visited friends or we stayed in hotels. Now, at nearly 23, neither child has a TV or wants one. I have more to say than I’d presume to post here, but the notion that TV=education, and that children cannot learn without it is inaccurate.
‘Older girls’ here probably means the 8-13 year old range:
http://search.next.co.uk/shop/gattgender-oldergirls-cat-shoes-0?nxti=0&nxtv=0&isort=bst&filter=subset%3a4201
BUT–given that about 90% of schools here have uniforms, and few of these would be allowed with the uniforms, they have NO real value. Why does a child need heels, or gladiator sandals (blisters!) or wedges? Not only developing a modesty problem, but feet problems!
Yikes. But I love shoes that some women would call ugly…
Well, you yourself once wrote about shoes determining the nature of the outfit and I think you are right. I don’t have daughters but I was a daughter. 🙂 I was the kind of kid who longed to be a grownup. I had an older mother who wore sensible shoes. But I found one pair of green lizard slingbacks in her closet and kept taking them out to “wear” them when I was about 3! She never did wear them. When I was in grade school we sometimes went on outings with the family of the waitress who worked in my father’s restaurant. The daughter, my age, had white pumps with a 1 inch heel and I had to have them. The waitress identified them as “children’s high heels.” My mother was outraged and explained to my father who was fine with it that there was no such thing and some grown women had small feet. I did get the shoes and was immensely happy with them.
In school, I hated the lace up shoes requirement and hated my gym sneakers. The funny thing is that I can’t remember at all the kind of shoes I otherwise wore and liked and only remember these awful shoes, over 50 years later. Now, I love lace up shoes and loafers. And my black and white sneaks. I love boat shoes. But I think it’s all about image. I have a good image of these now, based on some kind of LL Bean life I don’t have. 🙂 I had no image for sensible shoes in grade school. I grew up watching old movies on tv.
I do think grown up shoes on young girls is a bad idea, though. I read a great comment about this kind of shoe that I’ll clean up and paraphrase. Talking to women and not little girls: don’t wear “hot” shoes that advertize for male attention because it takes away from your dignity.
I just have to say, I agree totally. Our kids only watch a few selected tapes/dvd…no general television. I have never let my daughter wear certain shoes, but never really thought about the relation to modesty…there definitely is one. Funny, since reading this I have thought back to the platform & heels she has been given (when she was like 2 & 3!) and I haven’t realized it until now, but the one’s bearing gifts are quite immodest/sexual women. Interesting.