“What parenting lessons have you learned the hard way? What would you tell a first-time parent? Save us all some headaches and share!”
Realistically, although I have a ton of stuff I could say on the topic, I think what most moms probably want to know from me is how to raise a daughter who cheerfully dresses modestly.
- Start early. If you dress your three year old in a bikini, it will go harder on you when you don’t allow your thirteen year old to wear one.
- Talk about the reasons modesty is important. Beginning at around age nine is not too young.
- Allow her to be beautiful in her own way and to reflect her own personality in her clothing. In other words, don’t try to make her a clone of you!
Also, and unrelated: it is impossible to pay attention to your kid(s) and talk on the phone at the same time. Hang up. You can usually email the person later.
One last little-known fact: parents are just as sleep-deprived during their children’s late teen years as they are when the kids are babies. They just don’t tell you about it unless you ask.
Great tips! I started talking to mine about modesty as soon as she could listen- around 2 or 3. She started to point out other women or girls who were not modest. That opened the door to talk about caring and not judging others. We don’t have to approve or follow other people’s behavior but we can still love them with the love of Christ. She still points them out, in the right attitude, and we are able to talk about how important it is for us to honor God.
Thanks for your post! I wrote about this very thing today. How ironic.
One last little-known fact: parents are just as sleep-deprived during their children’s late teen years as they are when the kids are babies. They just don’t tell you about it unless you ask.
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I thought it was just me!
Thanks for the advice – this is something I’ve been thinking a lot about as I now have two daughters, just turned 2 and a newborn. Somehow I always thought I’d have only boys, so I’m doing a lot of thinking lately about how I want to raise my girls as well.
This is great–the phone and the sleep-deprivation, in addition to the expectations for our girls.
Vildy ~ you prove my point! 😉
Jennifer ~ thanks. I threw the bit about the phone in at the last minute, after my hero brought it up in conversation with me. He has often noticed that the people who keep me on the phone for a long time are the ones who really need to be spending focussed time with their kids. I forget about it, but I think he’s right.
Because my schedule allows it, I will sometimes just offer to come over to visit with those people in person. If I can get a word in edgewise. 😉
Great ideas. I especially like #1. It’s so hard to find swimsuits that AREN’T 2 pcs!
My daughter is 22. I’m really glad she was a child in the 80s, when I could still dress her in poofy things. That was the style back then, none of this ‘ten going on twenty four’ junk you see now.
Even as a teen, she had great fashion sense but never wore anything too ‘revealing.’ Now we talk about people we see in magazines or out shopping and wonder what a mother is thinking when she lets a tubby kid with 4 belly rolls walk around in one of those short shirts. Never mind modesty…half this stuff doesn’t even look good!
I’ve heard the whole ‘miniature adult’ thing is going out the window. I sure hope so. Kids should be allowed to be kids!
BTW, before anyone thinks my daughter is a ‘square’ (yeah, yeah, I know we don’t use that word now), you should know she is up on all the latest designers, has several piercings and even a few tattoos. So, yes, she’s cool. Let your younger girls know…you can be cool and still be modest!
I have 2 girls and modesty is something we started talking about a long time ago. My 8 year old already gets the concept. It’s never too early.
Okay, the phone thing I really have to work on! I’m so bad about talking on the phone too much! You’re right I need to hang up and just email people more. But, it’s hard!! I love chatting on the phone!
Blessings,
Georgia Mom