Recently I proposed that neglecting to accent with your secondary style can result in a look that feels boring, all the while looking completely normal. But what if you don’t have a secondary style?
Most of you readers who have commented on that post, or this one where I posted my working definitions of style personalities, understand yourself to be a blend. Most, but not all. My daughter who is a single style herself reminded me of this helpful principle for those who do not have a natural accent style.
With a single style, the style the furthest away from you is best to borrow from.
Here’s how they pair up:
Practical and Contemporary
Romantic and Glamorous
Timeless and Innovative
So if Miss Timeless is feeling a little bored, she might grab a pair of crazy socks or earrings. Or a colorful umbrella. Maybe she’ll even wear crocs!
When dressing for an event that doesn’t really fit your style type at all, the real genius in this principle kicks in. For instance, if Miss Romantic is invited to a red carpet event, she can ask herself, “what would a Glamorous wear?”
Thus, when Practical daughter has no idea what to wear for an event, she mentally stretches herself to think Contemporary.
Under what circumstances would this help you?
I have been thinking about just this kind of thing. I normally incorporate contradictory items in what I wearbut I borrow freely across the idioms. To go all the way toward the opposite, as your daughter could do, I don’t think I’m that flexible. I would get that wearing somebody else’s clothes feeling. Even worse, I don’t own those items anymore!
Emily Cho has an old book about loosening up and doing this kind of thing. I think you would like it as it shows how the person can borrow items from other types and use them to dress down or dress up. Unfortunately, it is dated in that she loves jumpsuits for every type. I love jumpsuits, too, but they’re immensely impractical for visiting the bathroom. Something that looks so easy turns out to be so difficult. She breaks hers down into Sporty-Casual, Classic-Elegant, Exotic-Dramatic, Arty-Offbeat, Feminine-Romantic, Sexy-Alluring. It’s called It’s You.
I have just been struggling over what to wear to a funeral tomorrow. At one time I think almost all my clothes would have suited a funeral 🙂 but I got rid of most of them. I own no conservative dresses, no plain dark skirts. I have a black silky shirtdress but it has dark raspberry and cream polka dots. Not big polka dots, but still. I have one black skirt that’s really a flowing divided skirt from a smooth front placket but it’s so long it’s dowdy plus it has all over white polka dots. If I hem it shorter, it will start to look saucy. Psychologically, polka dots seem too upbeat and whimsical for a funeral. I tried the divided skirt with a plain white shirt and a smooth knee length black cardigan and feel like something out of an old French movie. I have almost no dresses left because I can’t find any conservative ones I like.
In winter, I have a longish grey knit sweaterdress, like a ballet neck tee shirt dress, but this isn’t winter.
My wardrobe is in transition as I have purged so much and am slowly filling back in. I have gotten rid of whole categories of items like straight skirts. They don’t give me freedom of movement and they suggest helpless hobbling. I don’t care how many other people wear them, I think they’re kinky.
Although much of my clothing is funky in some way and I indulge my inner teenager I am mentally hidebound in some circumstances and feel uncomfortable wearing slacks to a funeral. I guess that is an outdated attitude but I’m stuck with it. If I wear dark slacks and a dark cotton blazer with a plaid that is so dark that the forest green, teals, indigos are almost indistinguishable from each other it would be properly somber but I will be uncomforatble. Plus the widow is hosting a lunch at a restaurant afterwards and I would be stuck wearing that. Your daughter is much more flexible than I am!
Oh, that is hard! I agree that polka dots are too what we call “perky” for a funeral (upbeat and whimsical is a better description). You need a funeral costume.
I do not own that Emily Cho book, but I may have taken it out of the library in the past. Interestingly, her style designations sound closer to the ones I use than many other “systems”. I’ll have to check it out again.
Back in those days, I had a jumpsuit that was roughly the colors of this blog, but it looked like a blouse tucked in to a pair of pants: the top was soft white, the pants were roughly the pink of the small pink stripe between the sidebar columns, and it had a taupe belt. It was super cute, but terribly impractical!
Rebecca, I took your advice and bought a “funeral costume.” I decided that I wanted it to be sober, comfortable! (s’posed to be 90 tomorrow), modest, and definitely not alluring or striking. I’ve read comments by others that they don’t remember what mourners wore and that was what I was aiming for, not to stand out.
Went to a local shop where I found one dress like this. I had to steer myself away from all the black dresses with zippers and studs that is the kind of thing I might like. Some things that looked all right on the hanger were plunging to *there*.
For $12.99 I bought a short-sleeved (puff but not puffy) black dress in a lightweight rayon blend. Is a shirtwaist with a collar and a button front that is a bib front with small dimensional ruffles. Skirt is full. Has a self-tie belt but I bought an extra belt that was wider and stretchy and that suggested the ruffling. It has a dimensional, squared off “leather” rose. So I went Romantic.
The best thing about this is that I have something in my closest now that’s easy to wear and also the kind of thing I like to wear in summer so I don’t have to look at it every day and think “funeral.”
Because of the erratic sizing in this store, even though I was wearing a well-fitting Medium from there, I had to buy a 4X to get the ease I wanted in the dress overall and to help with my long waist.
Thanks for helping me to finally face up to this.
You’re very welcome. I’m so glad you were able to find something, and a bargain too! Now you have it and you just don’t have to worry about it, plus it’s usable for other occasions. That’s crazy about the size, though.
Vildy,
I *love* the “indulging my inner teenager.” I’m going to have to put this one to use. Wish you had a blog so’s I could see some pics of your fabulous sounding ensembles!
Yes, Vildy, I agree! I’d love it if you had a blog!