At What Age is Body Image Set?
Christine brought up this provocative question, during our conversation on apparent body size:
One interesting thing I did read was that your body image is set at age 10 for girls. So, if you were a heavy ten year old you could be a very slim adult and still “see” yourself as heavy. In reverse, you could be slim as a ten year old (me) and always see yourself as slimmer than you are (I’m always looking for belts and fitted dresses that don’t work with my expanded waist.
Does anyone else find that to be true?
My own random observations:
- I must have been a pretty normal sized 10 year old. Mom?
- This theory might explain some things. Slim girls who complain about being fat are the ones who get the attention, but I’ve wondered why it seems there are some who are overweight and don’t seem to realize it.
- OTOH, there are some ladies who I think might be packing around an extra roll or two, who are actually quite slim.
- Most importantly, I advise highly against introducing fashion magazines until a young lady’s body image is well established, say in the later teen years.
How does your current body image compare with your size as a ten year old?
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Why Girls Should Dress Like Girls
The short answer is: it’s Biblical.
Often, as young people move towards finding their own personal style idiom, they either experiment or rebel. While rebellion can often be avoided (IMO most rebellion can be avoided by not forcing kids to wear polo shirts), I consider experimenting to be rather a normal part of this stage of life.
And experimenting can get into some androgynous looks: men wearing makeup, women with short hair, and so on. The dangers in these things are, as I see them:
- people really not being able to tell if you are a boy or a girl.
- portraying the wrong idea regarding your *interests*.
So, while I encourage experimenting to develop your own style, it seems best to take care to maintain your God-given gender identity. In other words, make sure that it is obvious you are female.
Some ideas that might help:
- Carry a purse. (This works for all kinds of things - like being able to distinguish between the workers and the shoppers in a store.)
- If your hair is short, wear girly earrings. Or a scarf.
- Buy girl fit shirts, rather than wearing men’s.
More suggestions?
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V-necks Are Out
So we’re sitting around the table visiting the other day, discussing our wardrobe challenges, one of mine being tops, and my daughter who considers herself “trendy” (meaning she runs a bit ahead of the pack stylewise) announces, “v-necks are out”.
Now, this didn’t take me by surprise because they have been so popular for so long. And believe me, I know that most of you like them! So here’s my reason for bringing it up: I predict that before long v-necks will be looking matronly. And moms all over the country will be thinking they are a basic, buying them for their teens, and then wondering why they won’t wear them. (Have you ever heard a teenager say, “mom, that looks matronly”?)
Continue to wear v-necks:
- in cute layering combinations
- if they are a staple part of your personal idiom. Honestly, some people just look so good in them they should never stop.
Personally I have them in the “stop buying” category.
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Are You Too Old to Wear the Trends?
“If you wore a trend the first time around, you shouldn’t wear it when it comes back into style.”
Surely we’ve all heard the above stated as fact. But is it?
Briefly this past weekend I had the opportunity to discuss this topic with my sister, who is almost two years younger than me. In our early 40s now, we are both feeling pressure to restrict ourselves from certain fashion choices, “because we’re too old”.
Where do you think that pressure comes from? Do you young people really mind if we wear your styles? I’d suggest the pressure comes from our own children - therefore you dress like a young person until your teenagers forbid it - except my sister’s kids are only preschoolers.
Parenthetically: check out the comments The Sartorialist received on this picture, a woman who appears to be 30 years older than Beth & I. People like that she’s not a clone “of a certain age”.
By style personality, my thoughts on whether people should repeat trends:
- Innovator: In my book, this style type is free to do whatever. Why try to make up rules for a person who’s just going to do what they want anyway?
- Glamorous: It all depends on how fabulous it looks. Occasionally this style type can appear a fashion victim; when wearing a look again, do it in a dignified manner. Revealing too much can smell desperate.
- Contemporary: Beth’s and my main style. I’ll let you readers answer this one.
- Timeless: Voted Most Likely to Feel Hokey when trying to wear a style she wore in Junior High.
- Romantic: Probably not, unless it’s a Little House on the Prairie dress or some such girly thing.
- Functional: This is a tough one. Technically there’s no reason why she couldn’t. The trouble is, this personality type is often blissfully unaware when she looks bad. (Good for her, bad for us!) Perhaps she is the one the guideline was invented for.
Now it’s your turn: what do you think?
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Why Do You Wear Black?
To give myself a break, I’m re-running controversial posts all week. 
When I was a young person, back in the 70s, I don’t think I owned a single item in black. Black was matronly. My how times have changed! Walk by any high school in America and you are likely to see more black almost than denim. It’s not so different among us moms, we just are more likely to mix it up a little.
So why do people favor black?
Some possible reasons:
- It’s easy.
- A desire to blend in with the crowd.
- It’s sophisticated, glamorous, or sexy.
- Makes a young person look older.
- Drama. Black emphasizes by contrast bright or pale colors.
- Probably the most controversial reason: to appear unhappy.
Do you think black is appropriate for a young person?
And why do you wear black?
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A Fun Skirt and Cowboy Boots
How cute is this?
Skirt: begged from mom, who bought it for $1 at Value Village. It’s double layers of ivory cotton, with metallic looking embroidery.
Metallic-look cowboy boots: bought cheap somewhere locally (these same boots have shown up everywhere from Grocery Outlet to Goodwill). They remind us of when this child was little and had the little pink fringed cowboy boots every year. Why don’t they still make those, and in adult sizes?
Anyway, this chicadee is ultra-frugal, very sporty, and always in need of help putting outfits together. Any creative thoughts for on top?
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Choosing Colors for Layering
Oops! Between fighting the plague on one side and technology on the other, I totally spaced that I have a regular feature to write on Tuesdays. And I see that I forgot last week, as well. Double oops!
Well, since I remember now, I’ll just share this fun little tip:
When choosing colors for t-shirt and tank layering, consider combining your eye color with the color of the ring around the outside of the iris.
What does this have to do with teens? A few things:
- It’s fun to examine eye color. Teens like fun.
- Layering t-shirts and tanks is ubiquitous among the young.
- If they know what colors make them look good, they will be more than happy to fill in the necklines which sometimes leave a little to be desired. And not enough to the imagination.
To take this concept one step further in modesty, consider the contrast between the colors.
- Least modest = skin color with a bright or deep shade.
- A little better = white or black with a color.
- Most modest = two colors similar in value.
(Don’t believe me? Ask a man.)
Does this give you an idea for a color scheme you want to try? Last weekend I wore a pewter v-neck tee with a longer brown scoop-neck under it and liked it so much it is folded together in my drawer now.
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Tube Tops for Modesty
No, I haven’t lost my mind. The following suggestion was sent in by new reader Amanda:
… going back (or forward?) to the “V-necks are out” post, I agree, except in the case of white V-necks. Last year, all I could find in the way of basic tops were tube tops (I bought four or five from American Eagle for a total of $20) and have started wearing them under a white V-neck. The tube top provides a little more coverage than a regular tank or cami, but it’s still a cute pop of color.
My younger daughter has worn a variation of this theme: a mid-thigh length strapless dress, topped by a belted white blouse, with leggings under. Ordinarily I would just pass by short strapless dress when thrifting, but combined with the other pieces - she’s fully dressed!
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Scarf Wrapping
Chatting with dcrmom about accessorizing with her new boots (Ugg - Swell Tall (Brunswick) - Footwear), I realized an observation about scarf styling which may be helpful.
A young lady who tends to be tall, modest, and busty (like dcrmom) is flattered by a scarf worn like this:
I, on the other hand, generally wear my scarves, if I wear one at all, lariat style:
Since I’m not an accessory person, I’m not sure why this works. Thoughts?
If you’ve posted on scarves - tying and wrapping, please let me know and I’ll add your link to this post.
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What’s Wrong With This Outfit, Mom?
Admittedly this is a lengthy article, originally from the Washington Post and then condensed for the Spokesman Review. But I think it especially worth reading for parents (both fathers and mothers) of young ladies. Allow me to rephrase that, I mean girls. When you still have control over what they wear is the time to help them develop their own discretion.
Quote:
Parents lack confidence in their instincts and in their judgment. Previous generations had no trouble making hard and fast rules. Parents in those days looked like and conducted themselves as adults and role models; kids and teenagers wanted to grow up and get the perks of adult life as soon as possible. Therapists see the inverse today. There are lots of parents who are uncomfortable with their grownup role and want to be young again; their kids don’t want to grow up, or wish to postpone it as long as possible.
I have found it helpful in training two young ladies, who are actually more modest than I am, to give them the tools to enhance their natural beauty artistically, rather than provocatively. My daughters truly exhibit a quiet confidence, a different kind of glamour (1 Peter 3:3-4).
Particularly in this day and age when both the culture and the church work to keep older women and younger women separated from one another, what can be done to encourage parents to be parents? And what do you see successfully influencing young ladies to dress modestly?
