What’s Wrong With This Outfit, Mom?
Admittedly this is a lengthy article, originally from the Washington Post and then condensed for the Spokesman Review. But I think it especially worth reading for parents (both fathers and mothers) of young ladies. Allow me to rephrase that, I mean girls. When you still have control over what they wear is the time to help them develop their own discretion.
Quote:
Parents lack confidence in their instincts and in their judgment. Previous generations had no trouble making hard and fast rules. Parents in those days looked like and conducted themselves as adults and role models; kids and teenagers wanted to grow up and get the perks of adult life as soon as possible. Therapists see the inverse today. There are lots of parents who are uncomfortable with their grownup role and want to be young again; their kids don’t want to grow up, or wish to postpone it as long as possible.
I have found it helpful in training two young ladies, who are actually more modest than I am, to give them the tools to enhance their natural beauty artistically, rather than provocatively. My daughters truly exhibit a quiet confidence, a different kind of glamour (1 Peter 3:3-4).
Particularly in this day and age when both the culture and the church work to keep older women and younger women separated from one another, what can be done to encourage parents to be parents? And what do you see successfully influencing young ladies to dress modestly?
Related Posts:
Can Wearing a Certain Brand of Clothing Be Immodest?
Can what you wear possibly be immodest, or otherwise (morally) inadvisable, simply because of the brand?
While at first blush the question may seem ridiculous, allow me to ask, “Have you ever actually been in an Abercrombie & Fitch store?” It’s been a long time since I have, but afterwards my brain needed washing! Which makes me wonder, although I have never actually been in a Hollister store, why La Kettra Bennett wanted to work there anyway. (Bennett is the former Hollister employee suing the company for firing her for refusing to wear trousers or an above-the-knee skirt.)
Biblically speaking, I believe this issue is governed by the principles outlined in Romans 14. In other words, if there is nothing immodest about the garment, we are certainly free to wear it, HOWEVER … if it would cause offense of conscience in another, we are advised to choose something else. And don’t we have an abundance of choices?
The problem, in my view, is often that we are naive to the connections in the mind of other people. And naivete isn’t always bad. If you’ve never been in an A&F store, an A&F t-shirt isn’t going to pull up images of half-dressed young men for you. (Or Victoria’s Secret … women.)
Are there things you would never wear, out of sensitivity to the conscience of another? (For me, the answer is “yes. Fishnet stockings”.) Things you wouldn’t allow your child to wear?
- Brands: SouthPole, Hollister, University of Pink?
- Looks: gangsta, goth, preppy, biker?
- Investment: luxury or welfare?
- Embellishments: piercings, tattoos, unnatural hair coloring?
Related Posts:
Modesty in Living Color
Updated from August 2006.
We are destroying speculations and every lofty thing raised up against the knowledge of God, and we are taking every thought captive to the obedience of Christ,
2 Corinthians 10:5, New American Standard Bible
Recently I ran across a blog discussion of Biblical modesty where the question of the appropriateness of dressing in bright colors was raised. (After pondering the topic overnight, I am unable to find the exact post to link to. I think it was somewhere over here.)
The concept of Biblical modesty as prescribed in 1 Timothy 2:9 and elsewhere is to be orderly and not draw undue attention to oneself.
How does this relate to the colors one chooses to wear?
- Color is one of the most notable aspects of any outfit. Any outfit which is markedly different from what people in the culture around us are accustomed to seeing is going to draw attention to itself.
- The face should be the focal point of every outfit. Color is a tool to accomplish that purpose.
- Conversely, color which doesn’t support your natural coloring, or worse - clashes with it, draws unwelcome attention to itself. (People muttering to themselves or their neighbor, “she’d sure be pretty if she’d wear better colors”.)
- Above all, color selection should support your personality and make you feel like yourself.
Some of my previous posts on finding and combining your personal colors:
Find Your Colors
Combining Colors
Combining Cool and Warm Colors
Posts about my own use of color:
Previous posts on color theory:
Characteristics of a Color
My Mental Color Wheel
More Fashion Color Resources available at The Runway Scoop.
Related Posts:
Color-blocking for an A
In Staging Your Comeback: A Complete Beauty Revival for Women Over 45
Consider, for example, the fact that the Type A figure is the most common figure type. Consider also the ubiquity of the black top worn with khakis. Precisely the “don’t” illustrated in the book. With that lovely contrast line right around the hips.
This suit would be a do for anyone wishing to minimize hips or tummy and maximize the upper body, where, incidentally, the face is generally located. 
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No Peek is Chic!
Homeschooling mom Robin Lucas came up with the idea for Chic Peeks after losing her mother-in-law to cancer last year. She wore her favorite black dress to the funeral which happened to be very low cut. She used the good ‘ole “safety pin method” to close the decolletage so it wouldn’t show too much of “the girls”. When she got home after a long day, she had pin holes in the fabric and it was absolutely ruined!
Chic Peeks are adhesive blouse fronts used to conceal cleavage peek-a-boos when wearing low cut tops and dresses. My only caveat would be to choose the cotton or micro-fiber over the lace; I suppose there could be an instance where the lace would look appropriate, but generally speaking, IMO, it looks like underwear.
Here’s how Chic Peeks work:
1. Peel- Peel open the Chic Adhesive strips
2. Press- Firmly Press the Chic Adhesive strips into your favorite Chic Peek
3. Position- Carefully Position your favorite Chic Peek into the decolletage at the desired height
4. Place- Place your Chic Peek by firmly pressing your garment decolletage onto your Chic Peek and smile
Congratulations to Robin and her sisters for launching a creative solution to a common problem!
Related Posts:
Modest Swimwear for Young Ladies (June 2008)
Two things I notice about young ladies when it comes to swimsuits: one, they don’t like black, and two, they don’t like to spend $80. In addition, the young ladies I am acquainted with, and their mothers as well, are more modest than the majority of 50 year olds out there on the beach. So I just want to show some affordable, cute, and modest suits.
These suits are all from Swimsuits for All, with which company I am affiliated (which means if you buy through any link on this website, I get paid!). And be sure to check my “online shopping” page for available coupon codes.
And a modesty tip for halter swimsuits: tie the top where you need it and then sew together!
Related Posts:
Teen Style Tuesday: Spaghetti Straps?
Just in time for summer, an admonition concerning strap size:
Keep strappy construction details on the upper body in scale with the wearer. Even a slender woman can look burly in spaghetti straps.
This looks more proportional.
In addition, it’s my opinion that most people look uncomfortable wearing strapless.
But this last look would look good on alot of people. Would you wear it?
Related Posts:
Dress Over Shorts
Beginning with this evening, I have three days of slightly out of the ordinary events to dress for:
- This evening: Awana Leader Appreciation Dinner. The food will be BBQ and I am on the board of directors, making me a hostess and part of the set up, serving, and clean-up crew.
- Tomorrow evening: My older daughter is one of the graduating seniors being honored at another BBQ-style dinner at the same location. I’m looking forward to an evening with no duties.
- Friday evening: Opening Night! My younger daughter is appearing in Beauty and the Beast (as a dancing napkin!) and, while I did have responsibilities (such as constructing the bedding for Belle’s canopy bed), I am now pretty much off-duty until strike. After the show, the families of cast and crew traditionally go out for hamburgers.
If it’s warm enough, I think I’ll wear this outfit this evening. What I love about it:
- I feel dressed. I’m not worrying about whether my shirt is long enough, whether my dress is too short, or anything else. I can freely bend over and get something off the floor or lift something off a top shelf without being immodest.
- Not only do I feel dressed but, because of it is a dress, I feel dressed up.
- The black and white color combo is both “spring festive” and “Be Our Guest” at the same time.
(Sorry about the picture quality.)
When I bought this dress (for $1), it was with the thought of wearing it over a ruffled skirt. Then I washed it. I laughed out loud when I pulled the (rayon) dress out of the washer to hang it to dry, only to find it had shrunk a foot in length (that’s no joke)!
But, as serendipity would have it, I’ve been in love with the idea of mid-thigh dresses over shorts ever since I tried one on last summer; now I finally one in my wardrobe. Will you be trying this look this summer?
Related Posts:
Just Linking May 10th
Just a few random links I’ve collected over the past couple of weeks:
Amy at MotherLoad has a great post up on building a starter work wardrobe.
New commenters:
Chloe from Her Accessories.
Polly at Chick In the Country (featuring What I Wore pictures)
Jennifer at Family Musings. Be sure to see her post on modesty. 
Vyque at Fasshonaburu.
Sharon from A Scrapbook of Me
Master photographer Stuart Riddell
New to the blogroll:
BTW, Happy Mother’s Day!
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The Real Prom
As promised (ooh, stealth pun!) last week, pictures of what dd wore to the real prom.
Shortly after she attended the winter formal, and all the challenges of finding a dress, we happened on this gown, at Value Village for $40. It fit perfectly! (And is modest.) Even though she had no guarantee of having an invitation to wear it, having it hanging in the closet seemed a frugal move. An investment of sorts.
It may have been a wedding dress in a previous life; it had a train, which she saved the price of alterating by cutting off and hemming herself. The only other expense (besides necessary undergarment) was the dry-cleaning: $30.
Princess dresses like these are priced in the $400 neighborhood these days. ha ha. We don’t live there. Don’t believe me? This one from Nordstrom, the closest I could find to show you, is priced at $388. My frugal daughter spent about 20% of that price. You couldn’t make it yourself for less, could you?
