The Space Between My Peers

After all that, I’m happy to report … it just didn’t matter.

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This post comes at the request of a concerned young lady.

Picture this: Youth Pastor has all the students turn around, facing their chairs, and kneel on the floor to pray. Student has worn out his jeans at the pocket corners; young ladies’ eyes are now directed down, in that general vicinity. He’s commando!

Conclusion: this is not a turn-on, but a gross-out.

If you must wear jeans with holes in delicate places, for style, here’s a sensible suggestion: Wear something really obvious underneath. Black leggings, magenta shorts, or even bright red boxers will do. Now, go back and read my post about wearing sheer to work.

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I want to be open to suggestion, but certain suggestions on what to wear tend to make me cranky. As in the example in yesterday’s post, the suggestion usually comes from one of my very favorite people. Maybe it’s a communication thing.

You say: “Have you ever considered wearing foundation?”

I hear: “Your face is so ugly, why don’t you do us all a favor and cover it up?”

My husband used to suggest jeans and sweatshirt all the time . Then I would get frustrated, because sweatshirts just don’t work with my figure.

What I did: I resolved to hear “sweater” everytime he says “sweatshirt”. It works, since what he really means is that functional, aka sporty, mantra: “dress in layers”.

Further reading:
When Styles Collide
Skinny Jeans & the 6 Figure Types
A Pre-School Geometry Lesson

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Clearly foundational to the individual idiom, but not necessarily part of fashion personality, is one’s preferred level of embellishment. How much detail do you like? Jewelry, accessories, and embroidery are all varieties of embellishment.

Because I am a big-picture person, I am sincerely mystified by people’s affinity for bling, bags, and other such wearable money-drains that do nothing to cover a person’s nakedness. Yes, I realize I’m in the minority among the fashion-savvy.

Consider the following from the comments on yesterday’s post:

Beth: “A little make up and jewelry complete the outfit and show that you cared enough to ‘dress’ for them.”

Me: “Jewelry ~ You may be right about showing that I care enough to dress for them, but the suggestion still makes me cranky. Earrings, watch, and anniversary ring will have to be enough.”

I prefer to let the big pieces do all the work.

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A casual evening out with a bunch of ladies. Why is that such a challenge to my idiom?

First, do I even own a shirt that’s not crew-neck? With my sporty/menswear accent, crewneck T’s are my staple.

Second, if I wear heels with jeans will I look like a poseur? If I don’t, will I look like a “mom in tennis shoes”? (I promise, I won’t be wearing tennis shoes.)

Last, but not least, if I wear a blazer, how do I keep from seeming all business? I want to seem approachable. And fun.

What say you wonderful people?

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I need to go back to the personal idiom kick-off project and consider my uniform templates for this spring.

The short version: sit down at the dining room table with a piece of scratch paper and at least one other family member. Brainstorm.

Racing through this project, it became obvious that I don’t need much. I already have 3 pairs of jeans, 3-mile everyday shoes, and a crew-neck tee-shirt in just about every color I wear. Topped with a cotton sweater (or equivalent) for leisure or a blazer for casual, that will be my uniform this spring.

What’s missing is a coat. Because of the variability of the weather (it’s likely to be sunny and 60 when I leave here at noon and then raining and windy when I arrive downtown 7 minutes later for my walk), I end up wearing my wool “city coat” quite a ways into the spring. But the color isn’t right.

So, while I am shopping for the perfect spring coat that I can afford, I am going to try this: a hooded windbreaker, topped with a fleece vest, with my washable suede jean jacket over the whole thing. Sounds crazy, but it just might work.

It reminds me of Danielle’s question (”Just wondering, do the current colours of the blog match the colours you wear?”) when I asked if the blog needed a makeover.

The windbreaker is pink, the fleece black, and the jean jacket is a chamois color.

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Style Tribe’s invitation:
I want to invite everyone to write about their most significant fashion purchase. Not the most expensive or most exciting, but the one that was somehow pivotal, or meaningful to you personally.

I’ve always been kind of a contemporary dresser, with a strong practical streak. But for a time, I let my practical (functional, sporty) side get out of control. Which led to one embarrassing evening.

It was in 1998. My husband worked for an engineering company, and the annual company Christmas party was held at the country club (that’s about as upscale as it gets here in the Great Northwest). I had this great dress from Goodwill (do you hear the rising sounds of impending disaster?): velvet top, full polka-dot skirt, puff sleeves. Positively Deb! I realized my mistake, but too late. Thankfully, I’m pretty sure my husband still doesn’t realize it.

The pivot point: I did not want to repeat that scene the following year!

Not sure how my friend knew I badly needed help, since she hadn’t seen me in that get-up, but she offered to take me shopping. After questioning me over coffee, I agreed with her that I wanted something more elegant. We prayed and then we hit the stores.

My friend is one fast shopper. (It helps that there aren’t that many stores here.) We found the ubiquitous bell-shaped long skirt at JCPenney, at a price I could afford, but we had to go to the other mall to get my size. Still, no top. Then, at one of those prom-dress stores, I spotted a possibility on the mannequin in the window. Sparkly, sleeveless and boatneck, believe it or not, it matched the skirt. Together they look like a two-piece dress.

The pivotal purchase: It was just a simple skirt and top. I didn’t spend even $100 or more than half a day shopping. But I promise you, there was not a woman at that 1999 company Christmas dinner who was dressed more appropriately.

The following summer I wore the dress again as hostess at my sister’s wedding. By then I had regained my fashion footing. Throughout the several days of festivities, varying levels of formality, I was never under-dressed.

Now, later this week I will be attending an event that challenges my idiom: dessert and coffee at a new restaurant, with sort of a dramatic interior, in a group with a bunch of young moms. What do I wear?

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Here in the mountains of the Great Northwest, it has turned suddenly spring. Currently raining, but most of this week has been sunny and close to 60. Rain is on the way, but for now we are feeling spring fever; I call it a “Mid-Year Crisis”.

How do I know for sure? Aside from the fact that I heard it declared yesterday as I was walking down the sidewalk at noon (no coat, no silk skivvies, just wool sweater and jeans) ; the men are beginning to shave. Not just losing their winter facial covering; conservative office-types are turning up in gotees. (Who was it that said the ’80s are calling and they want all the gotees back?) Guys, please don’t start taking your shirts off.

For me, spring is always difficult in the what-to-wear category. After five long months in wool, the weather is still too cool and too variable for bare arms and legs. I need to go back to the personal idiom kick-off project and consider my uniform templates for this spring. Better late than never.

But my best advice for this weekend is to buy a girly dress. Stores have more stock before Easter, and you’ll be prepared for those summer weddings and other social events. Mine is yellow, with a rose and brown floral print. And ruffles.

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