The Space Between My Peers

Perennially, probably related to the dark days of winter, I experience social insecurity remembering that most of my social supports are contingent upon the age of my children. Our Bible-study is limited to couples with children through high-school age. I could remain a member of my home-schooling support group when I am no longer home-schooling, but do I want to? Seems somehow grasping. In MOPS leadership, I am but a guest as it is.

This summer, I will not even be needed to drive the ladies to the free movies. It isn’t so much that I need to be needed, although you task-oriented people may choose to believe that. No, I will be losing my opportunities for fun. Being shy, or maybe just slow to warm up, I am most comfortable where I can belong simply by showing up.

How sad to be excluded merely on the basis of having completed this season of life. It’s going to be a long time before I am 55.

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader

Some trends just should never be. Like sagging. What guy goes for the dirty diaper look? (Probably one who doesn’t have kids.)

Seen recently, another trend to skip: long necklaces draped around bosoms … for once, I’m speechless. Retain your dignity, give this look a pass.

Let’s all say no.

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader

We all know one: a blonde who insists she looks good in black, but she really looks like a “head sticking out of a choir robe”; metaphorically speaking, her all-black ensemble enters the room five minutes before she does.

Allegedly chic in every situation, at times many of us want to wear a black outfit. Here’s how to do it:

• Good: Wear jewelry/accessories that support your coloring. Pearls, ivory, or even pale wood, when worn near the face, will lighten the heavyness of the expanse of black. Choosing a neckline which balances the head will keep the focus on your face.

• Better: Frame the face with something, a scarf or collar, a teen could even use a hooded sweatshirt, that repeats the haircolor. Basically, this reverses the concept I proposed in my post Beauty is in the Eye.
• Best: Repeating the black near your face as an accent, wear a jacket or sweater in a color that supports your coloring. Use your hair, eye, or skin color, but make sure it is the same in value (lightness) as either your hair or skin. Length balancing is the key to dodging the frump factor: 50/50 is boring.

There’s one more trick, but I don’t really recommend it. You can always wear more makeup.

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader

What’s your position on the fashion train? A few years ago I had a lovely lady, whom I always thought of as well-dressed, tell me that she considered herself the caboose. Adjusting to new styles just takes her longer.

The fashion personality types adopt new styles in a predictable order. The Engine, Alternative, is not usually in style, only because she (or he) is way out ahead of it. Glamorous is next, although she will compromise on currentness in order to look great. Contemporary won’t. Timeless follows, the Caboose, and Nostalgic is tossing flower petals off the rear platform, while waving her hanky.

What about Functional, you ask? Not even on the train. This person is on a horse galloping alongside. (Whether just for fun or because she missed the train, I can’t say.)

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader

Don’t touch that dial! You are not seeing things, dreaming, or experiencing technical difficulties. What you are about to see is a revision of a previous post. The old is gone, what you see is what you get.

Welcome to the debut of my new and improved system for naming fashion personalities. Based on the system originally published in Fabulous You, by Tori Hartman, I have been working on adapting the vocabulary to be intuitive. I want you to be able to have an idea what your fashion personality is based just on its name.

Can you find yourself on this list?

1) Alternative
2) Glamorous
3) Contemporary
4) Timeless
5) Nostalgic
6) Functional

The great thing about blogging is the interactive editing. When I come up with something I think works, like in my original post on fashion personalities, I can test-drive it here. Then, when I discover that I’m not really as brilliant as I had hoped, the post can be edited, or even deleted.

Or added to, now that I have completed building my quiz, Which Kind of Elegant Are You?

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader

Three arenas concern us when selecting our clothes: self, others, and the demands of the day. Rank the following statements, two representing each arena, and begin to define your idiom:

1) Looking fabulous is the chief aim of every ensemble.
2) I love comfortable clothes and want to feel good in whatever I wear.
3) Preferably I should not stand out in a crowd.
4) I gotta be unique!
5) Appropriately and stylishly dressed is how I wish to be perceived.
6) What are we going to be doing? I can’t get dressed without knowing first.

How’d you do? Can you select one or two of the statements as reflecting your philosophy of dressing? Stick to your priorities and avoid looking like a three-ring circus.

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader

idiom: A style of artistic expression characteristic of a given individual …

So much more individual than a style type designation, your personal idiom expresses the inner you to the outer world. Daily demands, personal coloring and silhouette, your lifestyle, even your budget, all combine with your fashion personality and many other variables to form a style of artistic expression all your own.

Congruence is the name of the game. If you express yourself consistently within your own idiom, people will naturally be drawn to your personality, as it will be showing, and you will be easier to be around.

Back to Rule Number 2: Wherever you go, dress like yourself in that situation. Wherever you go, there you are.

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader

What are you going to wear tomorrow? For some of us, that question takes us back to high school, when we wouldn’t wear a dress without a friend doing the same. But that’s not my reason for asking. Tomorrow is “Casual Friday”.

In my previous post on lifestyle segmentation, I declined to define the casual lifestyle segment with too much precision. Now I’ll get more technical.

The following should never be seen in a professional context:

1) White tennis shoes (I prefer the Canadian term runners). Exceptions for work-related athletic events, of course, or moves, building projects, etc.
2) Message t-shirts. If you are out of college, these are purely weekend wear. Over 55 and still wearing them? Try the applique and embroidery look instead.
3) Jeans with holes or seriously discolored knees. No blood, bleach, or motor oil, either.
4) Sweats. Would anybody really think about it anyway?

Be thankful, people. In my former professional life, men wore suits everyday and women were not allowed to wear pants at all. Casual Friday is an opportunity for people who work in formal business environments to relax a little, say to wear khakis and a button-down or slacks and a sweater. Let’s not throw all professionalism out the window.

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader

Here’s an idea from my sister, a mother of two pre-schoolers. If you live within walking distance of a coffee shop, and don’t meet your husband everyday during the noon hour, this is a fabulous idea:

I’ve started an early morning walking club for moms who want to knock out some exercise before their maternal and/or professional responsibilities kick in for the day. Although this was not my intent, it has completely replaced my running program. I meet whomever shows up at 6:30am in front of a coffee shop near my house, and we hoof three miles in 48 minutes. On Saturdays we sleep in; we meet at 7am. My schedule calls for Mon/Wed/Fri/Sat which gives me a good number of work outs but does not feel too onerous to maintain. If I were to miss a day, there are others who only go on Tues/Thurs so I could go then. The social aspect is very enriching. We pair off differently each time, so there is always an opportunity to chat with someone I may not get to chat with very often, especially without kids as a distraction. It has been really great so far, and I hope it continues.

Clearly social interaction is a valuable commodity in today’s culture. Once upon a time, women connected with each other when they came to draw water for their households. Now it’s a challenge. Of course, back then they didn’t need to schedule their exercise.

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader

The question that I posed, albeit indirectly, in my original post Stiletto Heels was, “Do you readers think I should add stiletto heels to my list of what not to wear to church?” It’s been tremendous fun discussing this topic, but I’m sure you’re ready for me to move on. Frankly, I am too.

So, without further ado, my conclusion: choose for yourself. If you’ve been here and followed the controversy as it developed, you have lots of good input to make that decision. One of my daughters made the comment that most, if not all, outfits that would be inappropriate with stilettos would still be inappropriate with different shoes. Interestingly, the Purity Girls.com modesty survey didn’t even have a category for what shoes guys considered immodest.

Coming soon: fashion personalities?

Share This

 Subscribe in a reader